In this book, you will learn the secrets of business gurus who managed to successfully navigate through the crisis, sometimes with their company!
Skeptical? No need to! This is a proven, simple method that has already been applied successfully across thousands of global firms.
Steps Highlights:
- Take [INSERT YOUR COMPANY NAME HERE]
- Lay-off a bunch of people, and threaten to do more so “ sometimes soon” (do not be specific on exact timing for optimum long-term efficiency)
- If not already done, announce, in a very sad email that unfortunately you will not be able to raise salaries in 2009, because… Just because.
- Avoid town-hall meetings at all cost, since you do not want employees to actually see you / know your face (as Power should always be invisible – see Machiavelli’s Prince for more details), nor do you want your friends from Fortune’s “50 under 50” to tell you that you are “funny” and “old school”
Congratulations! You have already saved [INSERT YOUR COMPANY NAME HERE] a 3% increase in its overhead. Doing so, you created a leaner, more efficient organization, and the market will reward it by increasing the value of [INSERT YOUR COMPANY NAME HERE]’s stock and hence that of your own options. You are happy and decide that you should ask the Board for a raise, which is immediately granted.
But why stop here? There is room for so much more… Read on for more secrets!
In this book you will also:
.
- Explore the world’s most proven methods to fire even more people while planning an increase in revenue (100% ACQUISITION FREE!),
- Learn Secrets on how to increase productivity of YOUR workers while paying them less. (100% OUTSOURCING FREE!)
- Find out how you can realize even more efficiencies including rules as: “Winter Heating on Fridays only”, “The employee training participation fee”, the “[INSERT YOUR COMPANY NAME HERE]’s centralized pencil ordering website for employees”
- And many, many more secrets!
Not convinced? Here is the real trick. If you have applied all the previous steps successfully and if employees are still complaining use those 8 words: “We should be happy to have a job” (Do not say “You” as you want to convey the impression that you are part of the team too and that you are also suffering.). 100% success guaranteed. If productivity does not triple after that your stock-options will be reimbursed.
The authors of this bestseller book have been applying those techniques successfully for the past 18 months, have received raises, stock-options and have been praised as “Maverick cost-cutters”, “Breakthrough Management Innovators” as well as “Corporate Socialists in time of crisis, of the Year” by several media and finance outlets, which are respectable, since they are household names and they play golf together anyway
Filed under: business | Tagged: business, management, management books, recession
